P o e t r y

~1~
Come Out And Play

When will the sun come out and play

The sun has hidden beneath a shroud

Heat radiates from behind a cloud

It suffocates an open wound

Why won't the sun come out and play

Like it did the day before

The light casts a sickly hue

Not dusk or dawn, but muted grey

I asked the sun, "Please, come out and play"

"No," came the distant reply

Echoing like thunder in the cloudy sky

Boom, flash, away birds fly

Light came trickling softly, slowly

I did not say a word

The sound of wetness undeterred

Just rain drops, drip, drop

~2~
Conversation

Let us walk and

I will talk with you.

How I should move my mouth?

I can't recall.

Nervous, heart pounding

Drowning out your voice.

I forgot the words

To my favorite song.

I hear a sound;

Shouts and screams in shrill nuance.

Silence is preferred.

I can't remember how to speak,

I forgot the words.

~3~
5 Haiku For Modern Times

A Summery haze

Blankets the perfect valley

Forests are burning

Gentle breezes drift

Fall fragrance filling the air

Masks cover noses 

The Winter Finch perched

Softly chirping a sweet song

Far away from home

A bountiful spring

flows freely from the mountain

And is bottled fresh

A beautiful mess

Healthy fungus breaks down wood

Natural decay

-2020, L.A. Miller

Photo of The Day, end of July

 A photography project in which I take (at least one) photo a day with my Sony A7 and a single lens. The first week I used the Canon 500mm manual focus. This is a fun lens. It has mirrors in addition to glass elements, aiding in the magnification, creating a lighter telephoto lens. I also used a Jupiter-11 135mm f4 from 1976. This is a cheap but beautiful rendering lens. Apologies for the quality of some of the photos. There was a heat wave that made for an interesting challenge.

July 14th

July 15th

July 24th

July 26th

July 27th

July 28th

July 28th

photos copyright 2020 L. A. Miller

New Times, New Habits

It's been 147 days since Covid-19 lockdown began for me; 2 more months and that's half a year. I started thinking about how my life has changed and what new habits I started because of the new normal. Not all of my new habits are a direct result of the pandemic, but I made changes for better or worse to adapt to a new way of life. Most of us have a few new habits that are obvious. We wash our hands when we come home, after unpacking groceries, and after touching any new or foriegn surface. We wear masks like we wear pants; they are necessary for decency and hygeine. These odd or tactful habits are fitting to new situations. 

I formed new habits without the consultation of the WHO or CDC, and sometimes I wonder what led me to that particular habit. For instance, I use paper towels now. I dislike paper towels for various environmental reasons, but now I am an avid user of the product. One reason is that I do not have a clothes washer or drier, I have access to a comunal laundromat. So, this disposable product found its way back into my life. The other reason for the paper towels leads me to another new habit: I clean with bleach now. I have not used straight bleach to clean since college. I recently used a combination of vinegar, lysol and clorox wipes. The latter of those products are like diamonds, very rare and expensive. (And, yes Clorox wipes are disposable, but less waste than buying multiple products.)

Other habits that intrigue me are my new clothing habits. Aside from mask wearing, I now wear more head coverings when I go outside. I used to wear baseball caps, but now I wear them more often. I also wear bandanas on my head. I tuck my shirts in too. I used to hate tucking in my shirt, having grown up in the pop-punk era of skate boards and surf wear. But, now I feel all clean and put together when I tuck my shirt in, don a cap, and mask.

I love my hobbies more. I have always had numerous hobbies since I first banged away on my parents piano, picked up my pink 110 camera, drew rainbows and sunsets in watercolor, and rode my bike around the neighborhood. But recently, hobbies seem like important sanity savers. The world is burning and corporations and tyrants are playing chess with our lives; we deserve a little sanity to get us through. And so, I make an effort to draw, write, photograph, and garden every week.

Speaking of sanity, my most helpful new habit is listening to calming music. It helps me think, breathe easier, and be calmer. These times make me want to be an angry punk. Relaxtion is necessary so I can get angry when I want, and not stay angry. 

Last of all, I get grocery deliveries. I never thought I would do a food delivery service, but here we are. I kind of love it. I get fresh veggies, some new foods to try, and I feel healthier. I hate shopping, so this was a great change.

Change can be good, if we are able to adapt with ease and flexibility.

Photo of the Day, Week of July 5th, 2020

A photography project in which I take (at least one) photo a day with my Sony A7 and a single lens. This week I used the Jupiter-3 f1.5 50mm manual focus lens from 1957. This is a fun lens. It can have an older look to it because of minor distortion and round bokeh even when stopped down. 

July 6

July 7

July 9

July 10

July 11

photos copyright 2020 L. A. Miller

Photo OF The Day, Week Of June 28, 2020

A photography project in which I take (at least one) photo a day with my Sony A7 and a single lens. This week I used the Canon FD 24mm F2 manual focus lens from the early 1980s. This lens is one of the sharpest wide that is a legacy manual focus lens. The bokeh has a bit of a zoom effect but it is not very distracting due to the low contrast of the lens.

June 29

June 30

July 1

July 2

July 3/1

July 3/2

photos copyright 2020 L. A. Miller

A song for the times; A song written for Covid

A song for quarantine / covid-19.

If You Pick A Package Up / Wash Your Hands - [If You're Happy And You Know It]

[verse 1]

If you pick a package up, wash your hands. [clap, clap]

If you touch a foreign surface wash your hands. [clap, clap]

[chorus]

If you want to stay real healthy, germs can be really stealthy, so if you pick a package up, wash your hands.

[verse 2]

If you go out in public, wear a mask. [cover your mouth]

If you visit, shop, or party, wear a mask. [cover your mouth]

[chorus]

If you want to stay real healthy, germs can be really stealthy, so if you go out in public, wear a mask.

Lyrics CC for use in classrooms L.A. Miller copyright 2020

Day 109, June 29, 2020

Day 109

I sit here listening to the large construction project next door. The earth movers are back. I think the siding is up on most of the buildings. Maybe this is a sign that they are getting close to the end.

The covid numbers keep going up in my state and all over the country. There is a solution, but a large group of people are ignorantly fighting the solution. 

"I'm being anti-racist." "I want to apologize for my past." "They should be fired." "It is a diversion!" The BLM movement online is filled with arguements and statements that many cannot agree on. I think it is a process. A messy process, because it is an explosive movement, just like me too/time's up. 

Anyway, wasn't it Black voices we white people should be lifting up? And here we are fighting amongst ourselves.

I am deciding to be less vocal. I try to speak what I believe is reasonable and I usually am ignored and at worst called names. Not to say there is not some support and agreement, however... It is better to speak with actions and, to listen.

So, I am taking a twitter break. More time for processing news, listening, reading, exercise, volunteering and other things.

Photo of The Day, Week of June 21, 2020

A photography project in which I take (at least one) photo a day with my Sony A7 and a single lens. This week I used the Pentax SMC 28mm f3.5 manual focus lens from the late 1970s. This lens is very sharp with beautifully smooth bokeh. There is a bit of a swirl, from light distortion, to the bokeh at longer distances, but it is not distracting.

June 22

June 23

June 24

June 25

June 26

June 27

photos copyright 2020 L. A. Miller

Getting through

Personally, I was pretty prepared, on many levels for life during a pandemic. Of course there were a few adjustments such as cleaning, pandemic hygiene, and being creative with food. But, I know a few things that have helped greatly such as how to stay fit, how to stay mentally occupied, how to destress, any a few other things that have help.

For excersise, I found that squats and calf raises (near) daily are extremely important when stuck inside. They engage your feet, legs, buttocks and core if I do them correctly. They are excellent exercises to do even in a top floor apartment. I feel much better when I do them regularly.

Also, stretch! I keep thinking back to all the stretches I learned in elementary school. I mean yoga is great and all. But, those generic stretches work wonders from sitting all day.

I also walk, but not as often as I would like. Neighborhood walks are good for mental and physical health. I walk when I feel stressed or tense and it helps me feel better.

For activities, I want to play video games or watch tv when I am bored. They are easy and don't cause me pain to do. But, I feel better if I make a to-do list of things I need to do and projects I want to do eventually. That way I can slowly work through the list inbetween mindless activities.

Also, reading and writing. These activities do not hurt, unless one has a migraine. Reading and writing engage the brain and make me feel productive. As do other hobbies like photography, drawing, painting, building mechanical objects or repairing old items. Accomplishing something makes me feel like I did something productive and so even working on a project feels good.

Stress is still an issue. I mean, have y'all seen the news lately? I have listened to so much calming music lately. Instrumental music that is usually in a major key and as slow as 70 bmp is perfect. If you do not like the calming music on youtube, try Bach, Brahms, Beethoven, or Handel.

Lastly, get outside or look outside everyday. This is important. There are birds and trees and flowers. The seasons are slowly changing. Nature is beautiful. And, I need my vitamin D. Eating healthy and getting the right vitamins are helpful for a good immune system.

Expertise

I often feel like I should be doing more with my life. I want to do more. Depression sets in if I overthink needing to do more activities or being more involved in life.

I started feeling unwell when I was in college. It may have even been before that, but I really noticed it at that time. I was getting headaches and stomach aches. I was not sleeping well. Anxiety, a doctor said. Sure, fine... They put me on a happy pill which helped the symptoms a little, but not really. I tried everything, from books to yoga to deep breathing to meditation. I believed the doctors. I also knew that I was stressed from a bad relationship and being away from home.

Eventually I got away from the bad relationship. I did not feel as anxious. And, because of the relationship I did not get my teaching degree, only a BA. I gained experience in retail and data entry and eventually IT and databases.

As time wore on my other symtoms grew worse. I still had trouble sleeping and eating. I had headaches. I was told it was still anxiety or grief. This was starting to not sit well with me, but doctors were not listening. They would try an allergy med for my sinuses and that was it.

Evetually, after about 6 or 7 doctors, I started not trusting them. They were not listening and I was getting more relief doing exercises I found online. Chiropracty was helping at least. It was taking me years to diagnose myself, but I was learning that it was not just anxiety... It was TMJ and migraines and bruxism (yay for the dentist). But, I could not afford a specialist...

Now, 15 years later, I have all of this knowledge about my health but not much work expertise, no family of my own. And most of all, no formal diagnosis, except the dentist, because I am broke. I had to quit my job in the middle of all of that because my health had gotten to a point where I could not eat very well, had jaw pain and had a hard time concentrating. I used my savings on those 6 or 7 doctors and my move back to my home state.

Now, I want to be able and be involved in life. I wish I could have a family. I wish I could have a job again. But, l make due. I do my best. That is my expertise: doing my best. I would rather something in science or history... But such is life. 

I have learned many technical things on the job before, held several jobs in fact, for a while. I even managed an IT department. Not to mention my volunteer work, writing, and photography. I shouldn't sell myself short. But, as of now I feel helpless because of my body.

I will keep trying to take care of myself and be a good person. I hope I can be more than that, eventually. I miss my life.

Daily Log: An Update

Here we are, day 52. I honestly can't believe I have kept this log going for this long. I did this as an experiment to see how society, and I, changed over time during this pandemic.

 I am currently taking a break from posting, however I am still writing my log. I find it interesting. I am curious to see the difference between me posting and not posting what I have written. I will keep going with this experiment, either online or offline. I will know soon.

I hope everyone is safe and healthy.

Edit: I have decided to quit the online daily log for now. I am going to pick a day and do weekly reports instead, in a more formatted way. Less of a daily log and more like an essay on life. I will be removing some of my less interesting daily logs, in favor of a "best of" list.

Thank you for reading along as we all figure this global pandemic out together.

Day 46: April 27th, 2020

Day 46

Today is a rest day. I still have a bad migraine. I am listening to music and resting most of the day. The things I need to do are nagging at me, but I know I will get them done. I should not stress over them.

I stretched quite a bit today. It feels good to get a good stretch. I made sure to stretch my arms and shoulders against a wall because I have not been moving them as much as normal.

I feel like the rest and attention to what I needed such as the stretching, really helped me today. 

Day 44: April 25th, 2020

Day 44

Tense this morning and so I listened to calming music.

I am kind of excited to work on my project and it almost over shadows my fears this morning, though I am back to being scared of getting sick. I watched videos last night of people with a rare disease where they rapidly age. It gave me some perspective. I am alive and I need to be thankful for that.

I worked on my rain mobile most of today, after doing chores. I have it hanging outside on the balcony. I like how it turned out, very rainy.

When I took the trash out, the bag broke and I had to go back up to my apartment to get a second bag. I cleaned up what spilled and doubled bagged it. Then I washed up, because... Yeah.

I watched some tv the rest of the night. I watched After Life. I won't get into details but it was not great yet I still watched most of it because some of the actors were funny.

I think both my boyfriend and I have stress hangovers. We both feel exhausted today. I have a headache. 

Listened to calming music again to get to sleep.

Day 43: April 24th, 2020

Day 43

Woke stressed about the car. I do not think I have had to file a claim before. I've been lucky and I didn't need to drive much for a few years.

It is weird filing a claim right now. My insurance had no one manning the phones. The website was not as helpful as I had hoped, but I was able to figure out what to do with  help. 

I will take my car in at some point, I guess. This is just another thing to add to my growing list. 

I still have a migraine today. I feel like crying, but I won't. 

Challenged my boyfriend to make something out of an item out of the recycle bin. He is making a chandelier out of beer bottles and I am making a rain mobile from a plastic jug. We are using the craft supplies that we already have.

I feel a bit better after painting. Today was not a great day mentally, for reasons won't get into the details of. But, I had a ptsd episode.

The rest of the night was spent crafting or watching youtube silliness.

I definitely needed calming music tonight.

Day 41: April 22, 2020

Day 41

I woke late and feel a bit droswy. I still have a headache but at least I feel less anxious. I think yesterday helped.

It is raining today. My balcony plants are loving the weather.

My boyfriend took some time to go to the store. We ran out of some of the staples. We signed up to try a veggie delivery service, but it won't start until May. I wish we could join a CSA, but our local one is full.

He found every thing we needed at the store except soy milk and hemp milk and cleaning products. I understand the cleaning products as the stores have been out for 40 days, but I do not understand the soy milk or other nondairy milks being gone. How many vegetarians are there in my area? Will have to go to the other store again for milk on another day.

Oh, the cleansing ritual... First he carries the groceries into the kitchen. Then, I put on a long sleeved shirt for protection. We carefully put the groceries away. I wipe down everything we or the groceries touched and a couple things that get left out like a chip bag or cat litter containers. We put all the bags in recycling. Then we wash our hands and his mask and I remove my protective clothing. He takes a shower. Every household seems to have their own routine based on house size and amount of cleaning products.

Doing a little sluething. I saw a big structure in the parking lot next door and wondered what it was. I looked up the writing on the side and it is a portable or rather, a modular office / storage building. Curious what it is for but it seems odd to yell across the fence.

Watched Tangled. The music was pretty good. Some of it sounded like Aladdin, but there were parts of the orchestral score I really loved. The animation was odd, but still cute.

Also watched Some More News and The Daily Show.

I find it ironic that I watched The Death Of Stalin yesterday and now it turns out that Kim Jung Un is very ill. Weird how things line up sometimes.

I got some elastic bands and want to sew masks again. I also forgot that I have t-shirt yarn I could use for ties.

Egg noodle lentil bolognese was very good for dinner. I remembered that we still had last year's garden tomatoes frozen and needed to use them up.

I listened to relaxing music at night.

Day 39: April 20, 2020

Day 39

Woke up and went back to researching mattresses.

I keep noticing that they have sales often and so the prices jump around. Though I am getting better at determining the quality of foam mattresses by eye, I do not know how to be fully sure of what I am getting. May look into videos later.

Noticed a mattress company or two are making cloth masks for the public. One was selling them at cost.

Whelp, we did it folks. Oil is worthless. It tanked down to .10 a barrel and then into the negatives.

Looked at the projects I want to do because I started to get overwhelmed. I need to research mattresses, I want to sew some handkerchiefs and cleaning cloths, and I want to plan and plant the garden soon. 

Swept my building's stairs because no one is coming around to do it. I honestly do not mind doing it because sometimes the building uses a leaf blower which does not work well.

I did some cleaning and chores.

Watched a movie, The Death Of Stalin. It was pretty good. It had Michael Palin and Steve Buscemi in it.

I was feeling relaxed enough to read the news tonight. Then I read that we are running out of C02 for processing a number of food and beverages and possibly water. I really hope they figure it out soon. Sounds like our VP was warned April 7th. Normally, I would not be worried, but I feel like this administration cannot take care of important necsesities.

Day 38: April 19th, 2020

Day 38

Lazy Sunday.

Stretched quite a bit this morning. My back feels like it might go out each morning because of the mattress lately. This has been going on for a while, but has recently gotten unbearable. Glad to have the new couch. The floor is starting to look good too.

I have been able to eat a little more the past few days and today is the first morning I did not lose weight. I was starting to wonder what was going on because I was losing weight quickly. I think it is a combination of higher stress and being more active.

The cat was very cuddley today. She kept wanting to be brushed and picked up. Now I remember that she jumped on the bed this morning and sat with me. She has not done that in a long time.

Cleaned at little, and then played some No Man's Sky.

Ate tikka masala for dinner. 

I researched and made a spreadsheet of possible mattresses we could buy. There are many possibilities. I want to be sure because we cannot try it first.

I stayed up a bit and watched some youtubube. Jonh Krazinsky's Some Good News was adorable.

Day 36: April 17th, 2020

Day 36

Woke early. Listened to calming music and got some much needed advice on the gov site I was having trouble with.

Listened to some new music from Fionna Apple that she put out just for the quarantine. She has not released new music in 10 years. Greenday released some punk covers of '80s songs because their tour was cancelled. I also listened to another Colin Meloy live stream. I've listened to many of his, Ben Gibbard's, and Ben Folds' live streams lately.

Waited for my boyfriend to get off work early and then we went on a walk at a wildlife refuge nearby. On the way there I noticed the small stretch of highway we take was littered with trash. If only we had the right tools to pick up trash. That would be good exercise!

The trail had only one car parked, so we did not need to avoid other walkers like we do on neighborhood walks. I got to take a few photos, use my camera.

On the drive back I noticed several people riding bikes today. 

Processed photos for most of the night and then watched Unorthodox.

Day 34: April 15th, 2020

Day 34

Listened to calming music again. This really helps when I wake up anxious. Also watched some youtube videos. 

After a few sunny days we are back to cloudy. I hope it rains.

I stretched on the balcony.

Bought some stamps, because they looked cool and the postal service needs the money.

I read the news because there were some things I felt I needed to pay attention to. Seems like mask wearing out in public will be the new normal for a couple years, possibly. 

The news, it stressed me out. People are protesting staying inside in some states but they protest in their cars. The president only cares about money, and only money. Average people pick up the pieces and try their best. Some companies are helping to provide PPE.

I watched a movie about Agatha Christie. Agatha Christie, golf course designer. 🙂

Cleaned the kitchen counters, did dishes...emptied and filled dish washer.

Walked outside to retrieve something that fell off my balcony. Picked it up with a baggy on my hand, just in case. I'm becoming germaphobe.

My boyfriend called his sister and talked to her for a while.

Some person is blasting the Star Spangled Banner from the grocery parking lot near my apartment. It was on loop for about 10 minutes. It gets loud, then quiet. I think they are driving. It changed to Proud To Be An American for a finale.

Chili for dinner again. Yum!

Played games on the computer. My boyfriend realized you can walk around a generated populated "world" in GTA 5. And, you can take photos and wander around to the ocean and places similar to the Santa Monica Pier.

I watched youtube and ate a snack that I invented. It was an apple dip? I made it using ground flax, peanut butter, molasses, cinnamon, raisins and a little salt. I mixed it up and dipped apples in it. Yum!

It's the joy in the little things that will get us through this pandemic.

Day 31: April 12th, 2020

Day 31

I need to find a way to calm down. I woke up very anxious today. I felt sick from anxiety.

My boyfriend went to the store this morning. There were a few things still that we needed, so I went to another store. I waited in line to get in, shopped masked as per the new normal, and got my three items. I kept dropping stuff on the floor. I hate anxiety.

I did the ritual cleaning when I got home. Since I was having a difficult time today, I decided to go on a walk around the neighborhood.

I took photos of some of the flowers at businesses and a yard. There were chalk Easter bunnies and Easter eggs drawn on several blocks. It was pretty adorable. The other walkers were much easier to walk around today. I think we are all getting a bit more aware of our situation. 

Did see a man in a worn plaid dress shirt and khakis digging through a dumpster behind the frozen yogurt place by my apartment. Never have seen that happen before.

I listened to some music and watched sketch comedy. I feel a bit better now.

Made some chocolate mug cakes. They were cute, but I'm not sure they settled well. Do not recommend.

Had a lot of fun laughing about random things tonight. Needed that.

Day 27: April 8th, 2020

Day 27

Woke up, took recycling out to the dumpster with my handkerchief on my face. Then I walked around the parking lot in the sunshine. Still amazed at the lack of masks and face coverings on other people. Saw some people doing laundry.

I took photos of my trees growing on my balcony because I realized I nearly have a forest going out there. Birds drop seeds in my planters and I let the trees grow. 

Looking at the news today. Bernie suspended his campaign. Probably for the best. I just hope that Biden can try to learn from the Bernie and Warren supporters about what we want to help turn this country around. Most important, still, is just supporting the democratic candidate so we can have a chance. I want a president that supports and protects, or at least tries to support and protect, the whole country not just private interests.

One thing I noticed yesterday, but forgot to write, was that I forget more often to do my daily stretches. Even while my boyfriend works from home, each day feels odd. Not quite a weekend but not a normal weekday either. I have tmj stretches on my to-do list, and even still, I wonder why I hurt if I have not done a stretch in a couple of days. Ugh.

Trying to sew again today and having another fight with my machine. Is it me? Is it my lack of machine oil. I think it is mostly the lack of oil, but it is also a little bit me. I do not sew very often. I just wish I had someway to help other than sitting on my ass.

I want to help, but I feel helpless. I am frustrated.

Worked on trying to get my old laptop up and running. It won't connect to the internet. I finally got it to work. Who knew that following instructions could be helpful. Huh. A newer operating system would be nice. I think I have the Mac equivalance of Windows 7 or possibly Vista.

Ate tofu and bean tacos for dinner while watching youtube latenight and BA videos.

Day 25: April 6th, 2020

Day 25

I woke very early this morning and did not feel so great. I played games on my phone until I fell back asleep.

Finally, I woke up later and did chores and such. I checked social media.

Learned that Oregon is a big donator of ventilators to New York. ❤️

After finding my binoculars in my gardening bin, I started doing nature observations for a volunteer program. This is something I wanted to do, but things were always getting in the way.

I played some videos games for an hour or so, this time I played Monster High. 

Next, I started working on more cloth masks. I am trying a new pattern, one I can donate if there is still a need.

I was fighting with the sewing machine most of the night. I got one mask finished and another cut out. The new masks are thinner, but they fit better.

I watched the rest of Kim's Convenience and Man Like Mobeen along with latenight shows.

Day 23: April 4th, 2020

Day 23

Talked to my Mom this morning. Everything is going well.

I did chores and ate.

Played Terraria for a while. Games are a good distraction when I am feeling less stressed. 

I washed some material for sewing more masks.

I ate what we are calling spaghetti lasagna. It probably has a real name, but it is a delicious pile of baked spaghetti with (a so-called Mexican blend of) cheese on top because there was no veg. parmesan at the store. It was delicious!

I've been reading a lot about mask construction and mask safety pertaining to cloth masks. It is pretty interesting. I guess materials are important, but equally as important is proper mask use. Good materials to use are thick tightly woven cotton materials. Three layers of quilting fabric or thick t-shirt material is good, or double layered cotton upholstery material is great too. Then, not touching the front of the mask, where air is sucked through is the main point of proper usage. This area is where most droplets would be. Taking the mask off, and putting it on via straps is the best hygienic practice.

I am glad that I have not had to wear my mask anywhere except on a neighborhood walk. I did wear my bandana inside of a store, but I was careful not to touch the front of the bandana after I wore it. I only recently read / watched about how to wear a mask.

So, tonight I tried installing a game that was on sale, but it was installing slowly. My computer needed some tlc. It took all night to clean things up. Working on my computer or coding something always turns into a time sink. A good quarantine activity, I suppose.

I was being extra nerdy tonight and looked at Magic cards during my install waiting time.

Day 22: April 3rd, 2020

Day 22

Woke up with no cat bothering me. I brushed her for a half hour last night. That seemed to help her feel better. She had a knot in her tail that needed brushed out.

Went for a neighborhood walk. I tried out my mask. I wish more people were wearing masks. I have only seen one person at my complex wearing one. A dust mask is better than no mask.

Saw multiple people at the bus stop. I wonder if they know there is no bus or if it was for a special transport.

I wish people would be more careful when driving. Pedestrians are needing to be extra cautious and go out of their way to avoid each other. It would be nice if cars would not try to run us over while doing so. 

My mask worked well. The tissue under the nose trick only worked ok.

Very happy to go for a walk. I have been very tense and it has been hard to eat and sleep as a result. I never realized how often I do go on hikes and walks until I was forced to adapt to pandemic life.

Sewed another mask tonight. 

I trimmed my hair. I usually cut my own hair, so this is no different from usual. 

Afterwards, I played Terraria.

We ate veggie burgers for dinner, with whole wheat buns this time! 

I played games on my phone until I slept.

Day 21: April 2nd, 2020

Day 21

Cat woke me up. This has been her go to move the last few weeks. She doesn't do this when my boyfriend physically goes to work, just when he has been working from home.

My boyfriend took half of the day off to go shopping. He found most everything at Roth's. Had to go to Lifesource and Walgreens too. We were limited to 4 rolls of toilet paper per family. Thankful for my parents giving us a few rolls too, yesterday.

I was able to buy 4 rolls of tp for a friend who is in need because the store forgot to put up signage. That was very nice of the workers and I thank the store very much. My friend has a sick husband and needs a bit of aid.

I only physically went into one store, but I had my bandana on like a cowboy.

Got home, showered, washed my hands probably twenty times already today.

More packages arrived. Today's package was deoderant. Fun.

My cat is pretty ill today. Very barfy. We are not exactly sure what the culprit is this time, but it could be many things. I had to go and make the cat's day worse by using the sewing machine to try to make a mask.

The mask looks and works well. It is a three-layer  "fu mask".  I used scraps and decided to try three layers because I did not like the quality of my fabric. I used cotton for one layer and cotton fleece for the other two layers. 

Watched tv the rest of the night. Lots of latenight to catch up on.

Day 20: April 1st, 2020

Day 20

Slept better. 

Woke up, ate breakfast.

I walked in the rain with my new yellow pancho.

Lots of traffic for quarantine traffic.

I just found out there were a bunch of earthquakes in Idaho, specifically the town and lake I used to visit every summer as a kid. My grandparents and many family members were from Idaho. I am imagining that lake just splashing around all day long. I hope everyone is safe.

Took recycling out with my bandana around my face because the rain stopped and had to spend time by the dumpster.

Mom was very nice and brought us much needed cleaning supplies. Now I can try to use the laundry room if I need to with out as much worry.

I got materials out to make a few three layer masks. I will work on them tonight and tomorrow I hope.

Ended up cleaning the bathroom, parts of the kitchen and windows. 

Also, watched Kim's Convenience on Netflix until I fell asleep. I worked on a drawing too.

Day 19: March 31st, 2020

Day 19

Accidentally deleted this day in my notepad. Wow. Where is ctrl+z when you need it? Well, here is what I recalled happened.

I ate breakfast, the storm light outside was really pretty outside. I took a photo to put online. 

Listened to an at home John Legend concert.

I talked to my mom on a new app. It was really nice to see her and my dad, and to talk to her. I paced on my balcony with my gaming headset on, video chatting with my mom for a while.

Then I rearranged the airpurifier because the apartment is getting stuffy. Bad airflow plus not leaving the apartment plus rain is not a good combo. I hate allergies.

I watched more of The Office.

Talked about camping and Idaho in general and looked at randomness online. (See Day 20 when it goes live.)

Day 14: March 26th, 2020

Day 14

Waiting for final prescription to be filled. It has been 5 days since I requested them. Presciption rules are particularly dumb right now when I want to make few as possible trips to the pharmacy.

Found the obituary for my boyfriend's great aunt. She died a little over a week ago. 

Today was a sad day. 

Day 13: March 25th, 2020

Day 13

Helping boyfriend troubleshoot work from home situation.

Microphone not working on either computer for skype. Trying to figure out why. Have two mics. One is a headset. 

Parkinglot is very full today. Good sign that people are not listening to our dumb president.

Boyfriend did a food shopping trip. Missed a couple items. Still no cleaning supplies. We only have a little bottle of bleach and about 5 clorox wipes. And half a container of rubbing alcohol. I hate to even use it when we need it. Some regular bar soap is on the way from amazon and we have the soap I am allergic to. 

I am glad for the lessons I learned from my wwII/depression era grand parents. We are not doing too bad, except for the cleaning supplies. And we know how to make things last a bit.

People outside at 5 standing in the parking lot at 6ft apart talking and laughing. It is an odd sight. I want to walk, but need to wait for the standers to be gone.

Watching Blast From the Past. Rented it on Youtube. I love the soundtrack and thought the theme of living in the bunker was suitable but still funny enough to make us laugh at our current isolation situation.

The news is rough today. I hope people can stay at home as much as possible and eventually get the support they need from the billionaires.

Day 8:March 20, 2020

Day 8

Slept in. 

Just feel tired and headachey.

I have been doing much more than normal. It is good, but I need to remember to watch my health more carefully. 

Went on social media

Looked through my gg'mas old post cards. Found ones from during spanish flu.

Posted 3 of my family's post cards on twitter. I have some family post cards from during the 1918 influenza (aka the spanish flu), which lasted in the US from 1918 through 1920. 

I thought I would post a few of the post cards, because, like tweets, they say a little about life during a pandemic, like a short story.

I have fewer postcards from this time period compared to before and after. I do not know if my great grandmother was just busier or life was more hectic for them in general.

I did notice they tried to talk even if they had nothing to say. ❤️ That's love.

Boyfriend and I are rating car alarms. First today was a little weak, not great sound. We have a favorite, it gets a lot of air time and it has a nice beat. 

Went out for a walk around the neighborhood. It was rush hour on friday. It looked more like 8pm on a Monday. There was a jogger and a couple people doing yard work. We tried our best to navigate from parked cars and mail boxes.

Watched some youtube, faves being Jimmy kimmel with his fam with formal friday was cute and binging with babish and his pantry basics chickpea edition, very inventive.

Ended the night with popcorn and Australian soccer.

Day 10:March 22, 2020

Day 10

Very stressed.

Day 7: March 19th, 2020

Day 7

I read some of the comic book Locke and Key on amazon. Then I did chores and ate breakfast. I am going slow today because I am tired.

Social media was very busy. Saw Andrew Lloyd Webber playing a piece from phantom in his own home over Twitter. It was All I Ask Of You, from Phantom.

Many more musicians on Twitter today, especially after several at the metropolitan opera were laid off.

Turned on espn, and the talking heads mostly spoke about which players were infected. 

Outside music is blaring, small group of people enjoying the sun next door and a dog barks. I worked on catching up on blog posts.

After reading more news, I see states working out the details of how to manage the epidemic and quarentine. Meanwhile, I see some in the federal government being exposed for using the situation to their personal benefit.

A large small business in the area is having trouble. They are a famous bookstore in Portland named Powell's. Time to order books from them and not from Amazon. 

Tonight, my boyfriend and I are watching the Mandalorian while we eat tofu and bean tacos.

The ugh is this really happening news is there are several spring breakers still spending spring break as norm and Covid-19 is being framed as the "chinese" virus by Trump.

Possible formal friday. Cute idea.

Day 4: March 16th, 2020

The Decemberists

Today started off fairly normal. I did chores and took care of my elderly cat by which I mean I cleaned her bed by hand because that is how being a cat nurse goes. I decided it was time to take the recycling out to the big blue bin and took the trash out too. Then I walked around the parking lot at my complex. There were many cars parked. By the time I walked a forth loop I noticed no cars or people interrupted me. This was a good sign, but it still seemed eerie.

My boyfriend went to work today but said he would likely work from home from here on out. It is nice that he has that ability. We can do our part by staying home and away from others as much as possible.

I started to see the positive effects of the COVID-19 pandemic today. There is something in humans that makes us fear radical change and so we tend to bind together in times of hardship. Humanity is often at its greatest when the situation is at its worst.

The musicians and other creative artists began to entertain over the internet. They are lifting spirits and, hopefully, keeping their careers afloat. I watched a concert the Colin Meloy from the Decemberists streamed from his home in Portland on Instagram.

I watched the "Decemberists" concert from my couch while sipping a beer and vegetarian curry. Colin Meloy said it is their 20th anniversary. He played ten songs, the first if which were Make You Better, Raincoat Song, On The Bus Mall, and Your Red Right Ankle. The comment section was filled with happy and heart filled emojis, people yelling lyrics, thank yous, and song requests. His kid brought a chicken in near the end and the bird photo-bombed the last song. It was a nice concert and retreat from the madness.

Retailers are closing up or going on a restricted schedule. Some restaurants are switching to carryout only. Wallstreet, the courts, and the private sector are struggling to adapt to the pandemic's needs and constraints.

Day 1: March 13th, 2020

Don't Panic

It snowed, hailed, and rained today. In the midst of everything going on, the weather seems to be an additional freakout. But, in reality, this is just an average March day. 

Most people are going nuts over covid-19. I think some of it is warranted, some of it is nonsense or worse. Please, do not get me wrong. Awareness is important and so is safety. Panic is not so helpful, on the other hand.

The president gave a speech with incorrect information about leadership direction, the pandemic, and the public's reaction. While some of the information may technically be correct, most of it was discounted by those closer to the pandemic later in the day. 

I think this will be par for the course going forward, it only worries me a little. There will probably be some mixed messages and some people not listening to the correct messages from the CDC. If most of us stay on track, all should be safe.

In general, my day went fine...

My boyfriend bought some fairly normal groceries, but a little more than usual so we could stay away from the crowds or have a couple back up meals. There was no tofu left in the store, but we managed. We were out of toilet paper and luckily only our toilet paper was left on the shelf, the recycled kind. 

The late night talk shows had no audience last night. Most of the guests did not show up either. It was very odd. I know we will get through this, but how? Netflix, and Steam, that's how.

Thanks to the late Douglas Adams for our new ubiquitous motto. So many are using the tag line; Don't panic. It makes me laugh.

Ground Breaking - A Short Salem Story

This was written in honor of the NEW ground breaking at Riverfront Park, for the Minto-Brown Island Bridge - I give you this first hand (slightly satirical, but true) account from viewpoint of an 8th grader of the Riverfront Park ground breaking.

Judson Middle School Concert Band, Director Shira Fadeley

It was Spring of 1994, and our middle school band was asked to play for the most important event many of us had played in our lives, up to that point -- the 1st Salem Riverfront Park ground breaking ceremony*. Now it seems adorable how excited we were, but at the time it was historic; monumental even.

Sitting in the low brass section of the Judson Middle School band, for such a central community ground-breaking ceremony, was very exciting for 13-year-old me. I remember everyone was trying to be on their best behavior. But, you know how it is with overly excited middle-schoolers. We needed a reminder every 30 seconds to settle down. What can I say? We didn't get out much? :-)

The highlight of everyone's conversation was the Boise Cascade donated acid ball. What was it going to be? Many had heard it would be an art project, and talked about how exciting that would be. Most of my band mates were a little concerned with the term "acid ball". I mean, acid + ball = what-unknown-horrors? Of course some of that confusion was cleared up on the carpool ride home by my Dad, but it caused quite a bit of controversy among us very P.C. '90s era kids.

At the moment of ground-breaking, it became too hard to keep the excitement in. This was happening, an historic moment. (Remember, thirteen years old.) So, I did what any dorky 8th grader with too big an imagination would do. I unscrewed the bell of my trombone, and waited for the precise moment of action. When the mayor struck ground with his shovel, my trombone bell also struck earth. Yes, Mom and Dad, I used my old Yamaha student model trombone as a shovel... briefly.

Me, center, playing with the Judson Concert Band at the ground-breaking ceremony, 1994

In my defense, I thought the whole act would be symbolic and "stuff". At least I had fun! Plus, it didn't do any damage, nor did anyone notice. It did make the trombone bell quite dusty. To whomever owns that little trombone now, you own a piece of Salem history.


*NOTES There was another dedication ceremony in 1996... Yeah, we felt a little less important after that, but still, it was very nice to be invited to play at such an important city event at such young ages. Thank you.

The Great ATC to Canvas Experiment

This was a piece I wrote back in 2015.

People could tell me I'm good at an art or other creative endeavors, but I'm still that impressionable 8 year old who was told they couldn't draw trees as well as I had claimed claimed for a large visual Social Studies project. What can I say, as a shy person, its tough to break out of that mind set.As a result, I've stuck to crafts like photography, sculpting, collage, crochet, jewelry making and origami. Painting and drawing I've reserved for small informal projects, with the exception of school assignments.

Ever since I had the opportunity to volunteer at a local creative reuse non-profit a few years ago, I've been making more projects and getting braver at what I can create.

 So here is the challenge...I have three Artist's Trading Cards that I made and the objective is to get them onto canvas. If I can accomplish this, I may want to do some other pieces where I take my photography and use reuse items and paint to recreate the image.

A Starry Night In Salem - Croisan Ridge, 1/3

Croisan Ridge, by Lisa Miller

A Starry Night In Salem - Falling Stars, 2/3

A Starry Night In Salem - The View From My Apartment, 3/3